so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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