Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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