2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
what is it with giant penises always finding me
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
