FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
