I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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