Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
