just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
