This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
