That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
