Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
