Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
