no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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