My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
