WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
