think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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