I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
