Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
