nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
