dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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