For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
