and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
