Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
