I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
