my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
