My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I wish there were birth control emojis
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
