dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
