I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
