she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
