yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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