Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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