READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I can text with my tongue
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize
