I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
