he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
