There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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