matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
These tits shall not be calmed
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
