Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm jealous of your bromance
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
we should paint friendship bongs
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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