i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
