Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
