Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
