He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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