We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
