Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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