I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
