Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
