girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
