Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
