you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
