You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
