rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
