I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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