I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
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